National Adoption Month Post #2 - Something Perfect!!

The miracle of our family would not have been possible without the incredible, humble woman who brought Logan and Ellie into this world. Her name is Keri. And as anyone knows who has experienced the blessing of adoption, there are no words in any language to express our feelings towards her. It is amazing that something that starts out as a less than ideal situation, turns out to be more than a happy ending. There was absolutely a higher power involved every step of the way with this adoption. We felt very impressed to get our adoption paperwork finished very quickly. We finished it and our profile was available at just the right time for Keri to view it. She was seven months pregnant when she chose us to be the parents of the two tiny beings inside of her. I cannot imagine the strength and selflessness a woman must have to make such an important, life-altering, heartbreaking decision. A decision made with the wisdom and intense love of a mother for her children. When she chose us, she felt peace. We felt the same peace. Several people were wondering if maybe it wasn't a wise decision for me to be having baby showers, buying baby furniture, etc. But they didn't know what we knew, didn't feel what we felt. We had met Keri. We knew she was confident and sure of this decision. It felt as if we already knew those little unborn angels. The connection was there, there was no denying it. They were to be our family. We will be forever in debt to this amazing woman who was still enough to know what our Heavenly Father wanted for these babies. Her choice was inspired, her choice was courageous, and it has changed the course of eternity.

When Logan and Ellie were just a day and a half old, it was time to go home from the hospital. Darin and I had been having lunch and upon returning to the nursery, Keri and her mom were coming out of the nursery. They were going home. At this point in time we had no idea we would be able to have an open adoption. As far as we knew, Keri would not be seeing these babies for 18 years. She had said her good-byes to the babies while we were out to lunch. We did not see those last moments in the nursery with Logan and Ellie and Keri together. I think it was meant to be that way. We said our teary good-byes to Keri in the hallway, and then Darin and I went into the nursery with a whole new feeling. It is an emotion that is hard to describe. We were so full of joy and felt so happy and blessed. But at the very same time I was sobbing and could not stop. I was trying to scrub up and put on the gown to go hold the babies. And all I could think about was Keri going down the hall outside. She had been sick before giving birth, had an emergency cesarian delivery, was treated poorly by the hospital staff....and was now having to walk away from the two babies she carried inside her. I felt overwhelmed that they were "mine" and that she trusted me with their very lives. I felt like it was so unfair---me going home with a whole new world, she going home with empty arms. The nurses kept telling me to stop crying, not to be sad and that this was my time to be excited. They just didn't understand. Only two mothers of the same children could understand. The deepest of heartaches and greatest of joys.

We have always been open with our kids about their adoption. They know they grew in keri's tummy. They know she loved them and still loves them dearly. About a year ago they made the connection that not everyone is adopted and not everyone has two kinds of moms. Not everyone is as lucky as they are!! Keri's family has shown love and 100% support to us, as Logan and Ellie's parents. We could not have even dreamed up a better situation for a relationship with a birthmom. When I think about how it all came to be, I always think...my cup truley runneth over!!!

About the pictures in the collage below:

#1 - Keri on her wedding day two years after Logan and Ellie were born. She married a wonderful man, Larry. He stepped in to her life, and up to the plate to be the provider for her and her family. We love you Larry--thank you for taking care of our Keri!!!

#2 - Sonogram of Logan. Keri sent it to us while she was pregnant. Perfect profile!!

#3 - Sonogram of Ellie. Keri sent it to us while she was pregnant. Fancy face!!

#4 - Keri and I with these sweet newborn babies, in the hospital nursery.

#5 - Logan in his "I love Keri" onesie.

#6 - Ellie in her "I love Keri" onesie.

#7 - The three of them, summer 2007.

#8 - Logan and Ellie's first ever wave-runner ride was with Keri.

#9 - This picture was taken at the Rainforest cafe in CA, celebrating the kids 4th birthday.

This picture below, of a rainbow, was taken while Keri and her family were visiting our home and neighborhood. We went fishing at the lake. It was one of those days that there were heavy, short rainstorms, and then the sun would quickly come back out. I have always loved rainbows, because of what they represent--something beautiful coming after a storm that seemed to have no end. Now rainbows remind me, and my children, that there is a beautiful woman in our lives, the one who gave them life. The chorus to an adoption song we love is the message we like to imagine Keri, and Heavenly Father, sending to Logan and Ellie whenever they see a rainbow.

"I'll send my love through colored rainbows. Tears of joy will fall like rain. My peace will warm you as the summer sun, bringing hope to try again. The winds of change, will gently guide you to reach for stars at heavens door. And when you feel I've left you on your own, just remember---I didn't give you up, I gave you more."

ADOPTION---IT'S ABOUT LOVE!!!!!

WE LOVE YOU FOREVER, KERI!!!!!!