God, grant me the patience to deal with my blessings!!!

Oh my sweet, sweet blessings!! Yesterday I thought maybe I'd take up the art of spanking!!! I've really only ever spanked my kids once--a hot day the summer of '07. THAT is a hillarious story for another day. But yesterday--WHOA!!! I thought just maybe it should be an hourly thing!! Just teasin!! I didn't spank them!! You can't spank a child with Aspergers--they think it's hitting and can't tell the difference between times it's OK to hit (spank), and times it's not.

ANYWAYS....I did almost dive over the edge yesterday. I also suffer from a form of insanity, thinking I can take them both with me to get groceries--and not just shopping, but coupon-shopping. It takes 100% concentration, and they take full advantage of my neglecting them while I think in the isles. I just happened to see two people I know in two different stores--and both times Logan and Ellie were OUT of control. In fact, in one store, Logan was screaming because another child was trying to take the BASEBALL that he and Ellie were rolling ACROSS the store to each other!! The screaming does come in handy when I am isles away--"Yep, they are still there--I can HEAR them!! Good, whew!!"

We must have had at least two dozen meltdowns yesterday. No exaggeration. Darin was home about ten minutes before he was also going nuts. WHAT was going ON????

Oh, here's what was going on, Oh ye busy, frustrated, neglectful mommy!!!

1- The entire family slept in until 7:45. Unheard of. Logan is usually our alarm clock long before that. We had to wake Logan up, and he was so "out".

2-Logan was extremely grumpy much of the day. Tantrums were constant, and his emotions were a roller-coaster.

3-TODAY, 24 hours later, I notice dried slobber/spit-up on Logan's bed. I tell Darin and he says he thought he might have heard Logan early yesterday morning. But we didn't hear the regular scream.

DUH DUH DUH!!!!! He had a seizure!!! And I expected him to act "normal" and didn't cater the day to how he felt. Which by the way is HORRIBLE!!! They say after a seizure you feel like you've been hit by a truck for a couple of days. Your muscles hurt more than can be explained because of how tense they are. I was expecting a febrile seizure the couple of days before that because he was sick with a high fever. But the fever left, and I thought we had made it through without one!!!

Poor little guy!! We expect so much of him. After the zillionth tantrum I asked him, "When you fall down on the floor and cry and fuss and thrash about, what do you think that is kind of like?" The answer I was looking for was "Like a two year old!!". But the answer I got was a very honest, "I don't know what that means." Darin was nearby trying not to laugh out loud.

So, I am a beast with the kids all day, at my wits end by bedtime. And first thing today, that sweet, perfect, amazing little blessing of mine gives me this.........

I am the most forgiven, blessed, luckiest mom in the world!!! How do kids forgive so easily?!

And my sweet princess Ellie...she is going through a little phase. Starting to imitate Logan a bit, wondering why he "gets away" with certain behaviors. Catching on that she is the one who I expect the example from. That's gotta stop pronto--I have to figure out how to treat them fairly and not expect more or less from one than the other. How, how, how??? Tonight when I tucked her in, I told her she was my sweetest girl. I've told her that a million times. But TONIGHT she asks me, "Mom, what does 'sweet' mean?" Never crossed my mind that she might not know. Maybe she thought she was a lollipop!! I of course told her that it meant she was kind, and loving, and caring, and helpful, and special. Her response?? "Oh."

Drawing by Ellie, age 5.